DAVETV If you could look at only one thing on the Internet, DaveTV would be the obvious choice. What other so-called "website" lets you watch LATE SHOW Highlights, Comedy Clips, Slideshows, Stupid Trick clips and The Tony Mendez Show?
TOP TEN LIST You know it, you love it, you can't live without it: the revolutionary comedy bit that won Dave the Nobel Peace Prize. Check out the latest Top Ten List here.
TOP TEN ARCHIVES Old Top Ten Lists never die, they just get archived. The Top Ten Archives is searchable by date and keyword. Also, please note that the word "archives" contains the word "chives."
TOP TEN CONTEST So you think you're as funny as Dave's writers? Or maybe you just enjoy wasting time at work? See if you've got the chops to win a great prize in our weekly Top Ten Contest.
TOP TEN SEARCH Search Results.
TOP TEN SEARCH Search Results.
WAHOO GAZETTE LATE SHOW staffer Mike McIntee gives you a daily show summary and the behind-the-scenes lowdown with his daily Wahoo Gazette. So much juicy inside information that you'll say "Wahoo!"
THE WAHOO GAZETTE ARCHIVE Mike McIntee's popular Wahoo Gazette is archived here in the aptly- named Wahoo Gazette Archive. You can search by date, keyword, or show number, or even Dave's tie pattern (coming June 2012).
THE WAHOO GAZETTE ARCHIVE Mike McIntee's popular Wahoo Gazette is archived here in the aptly- named Wahoo Gazette Archive. You can search by date, keyword, or show number, or even Dave's tie pattern (coming June 2012).
Thursday, March 02, 2006
Top Ten Signs You're Not Going To Win An Academy Award
You're up against King Kong for Best Giant Money
Instead of asking who you're wearing, Joan Rivers asks why
you showed up
Your film is used to torture Gitmo detainees
Best acting you did this year was telling your wife you
didn't sleep with Angelina Jolie
You're "Guy #5" in the Paris Hilton sex tape
Gretzky's wife bet a grand against you
Your acting has been compared to Steven Segal
Played the coveted role of "man who gets kicked in
the nuts"
George W. Bush has information you're going to win
You spent months learning to become a gay cowboy, but
you're not an actor
·
You gained 60 pounds for your role as "Background Extra"
·
You star as a brave young man who struggles with a severe
allergy to talc
·
All of your scenes begin with you delivering a pizza to a
busty housewife
·
You tried to tell the story of the Cuban missile crisis
with an all-kitty cast
·
You're Tom Arnold
·
Academy hates you so much, they keep putting you in the
tribute to dead stars
·
Couldn't get the rights to Johnny Cash's story, so you
made a gritty biopic about Ray Stevens
Kate Winslet's Cooking Injuries With an average two wounds per meal, does Kate Winslet belong in the kitchen?
