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Tuesday, April 18, 2006

Top Ten Signs You're Not Going To Win A Pulitzer Prize
  
Your op-ed pieces are all the same: Cookies Are Tasty
Only thing you wrote all year was a letter to CBS asking not to cancel "Yes, Dear"
Your scathing report on plagiarism was copied from someone else
Last book signing was held at Jiffy Lube
Your novel is sold exclusively at windowless bookstores along the interstate
You're the critic quoted in the ads for "Basic Instinct 2"
You think fact-checking is for sissies
Instead of covering the United States-Iraq War, opted to cover the war between 7-11 and Cumberland Farms
You're up against a New York Post reporter with a wallet full of bribin' money
Sports section has Knicks in first place
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