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Wednesday, August 30, 2006

Top Ten Ways I'm Celebrating Our 13th Anniversary
  
Cupcakes with creamy Lipitor frosting
Begging the feds to remove my ankle bracelet for the night
13 shots of Jager, dude!
Receiving thoughtful "Time To Retire?" bouquet from CBS President Les Moonves
An intimate dinner with friends and family at Long John Silver's
Drinks with my prize-winning collies Krystal and Alexis
The girls from "The View" took me for an afternoon of facials and gossip
Treating myself to a new hairpiece
Turning over the show to my brother Raul
After the show, Snoop and I are going to get shizzle-faced
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Sorry, no Top Ten extras tonight!

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